The Zillionaire Vampire Cowboy's Secret Werewolf BabiesThe Zillionaire Vampire Cowboy’s Secret Werewolf Babies by Juniper Bell

My rating: 4 of 5 flames

When I saw the title of this book I giggled a bit, as it is pretty ridiculous. Then I read a few reviews. “Oh, game on!” was all I could think.

I wanted a fun and fast read-I got it, boy did I get it. My cheeks hurt from smiling and laughing to myself. Obviously this book is poking fun at some of the stereotypical Romance novel cliches. There are 9 authors who each took a chapter, and it is so much fun-I can only imagine how much fun each author had emailing her chapter to the next one.

The basic plot is that Rock Fangsworthy, vampire cowboy, pardon, zillionaire vampire cowboy, wants the neighboring lands for his ranch. The owners, the Braveheart brothers, have made it into a winery. But the last of the Bravhearts dies, and he thinks he can sweet talk the new owner into selling. How was Rock to know that the new owner Buffi Von Pelt, was his one and only love?

Buffi had moved to the winery her grandmother had left her to raise her twin werewolf/vampire boys Ivan and Vlad and to make a fresh start. But when Rock shows up at her door accusing her of trying to kill him, and demanding she give him the winery, the sparks they are a-flyin’.

Features a zillionaire vampire cowboy who faints at the sight/thought/scent of blood. A single mom werewolf who never told the vampire cowboy of her dreams that she was pregnant with his twins, and two very inept bumbling villains.

I’m adding all my favorite quotes from this book. Trust me, you’ll laugh! All the euphemisms for Rock’s manhood had me cracking up-icy lovecicle, love pole, his love spuds…you get the picture.

“Rock Fangsworthy a vampire? Ha! …Rock can’t be a vampire at all.”
Billy Bob crossed his arms. “Oh yeah? Why is that?”
“He doesn’t sparkle.”
His brows scrunched together. “What are you taking about?”
She rolled her eyes. “Real vampires sparkle when they’re out in the sun. Everyone knows that.”

“Rock Fangsworthy was a man of action– gruff, manly actions like boldly striding across rooms and menacingly narrowing his slate-blue eyes.”

“Enough with the telepathy. If only he had a cell phone. things would be solved so easily with one simple call. But that would ruin the whole story…”

“He smirked. They’d been wild last night. He looked to the trash can by her bed, pride sweeping over him at the two–count em, TWO– condom wrappers at the top. He’d rocked her world, alright.”

“Rock no. think of the twins!” (she meant her twin boys)
“Who told you?” Rock gasped, gaping openmouthed at her like a carp. “Forget the twins! They meant nothing to me! I sent them back to Dallas over a month ago. Along with the cheerleaders.”

“Oh Buffi, baby. You slay me.”

For just $.99 this is so worth the laughs. It’s a fun and since it’s short, you never get tired of the silliness (you know how with Austin Powers the first one is funny, but 3 movies later you’re over it?) And next time I need a laugh, I’ll read If You Give a Duke a Duchy, Or, Love’s Savage Whiplash which is the next book by those Nine Naughty Novelists.

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