Let's Pretend This Never Happened: (A Mostly True Memoir)Let’s Pretend This Never Happened: by Jenny Lawson
My rating: 4.5 of 5 flames

Review Posted at Got Fiction

Ever since I saw Beyonce the Giant Metal Chicken pop up in my twitter feed, I have been hooked on the Bloggess’ special brand of humor. I don’t think I’ve ever laughed so hard in my life as I did when reading about Beyonce. So you can imagine my joy when I received Let’s Pretend This Never Happened: in the mail.

I know that I pretty much only review romance, but this book is so much more than just “A Mostly True Memoir.” This book actually touches on some pretty heavy issues, from anorexia to depression. But through it all, Jenny the Bloggess keeps us entertained and upbeat. In fact, I’d say this is a romance. She and her husband Victor obviously love each other very much, even though he doesn’t quite get her love of humanely killed taxidermied animals in people clothes.
I laughed so hard at how she and Victor argue, and at the same time, how accepting of each other they are of each other. This was my favorite part of the book:

On organ donation and zombies:

Victor: If you want to throw away all your organs I won’t stop you. Just don’t come complaining to me when I see you in the afterlife and you’re all ”Oh my God, I just peed all over myself because someone has my bladder.”

Jenny: Fine, And if you die first I’m totally donating your organs too.

Victor: Like hell you are. I may need them.

Jenny: Why would you need them? YOU’RE DEAD.

Victor: What if I become a zombie? huh smart-ass? I’d be a pretty shitty zombie if they took my eyes out. I’d be biting poles and cats and shit.

Jenny: So you’re making a decision to not save someone’s life on the off chance that it might be inconvenient if you turn into a less efficient zombie?

Victor: It sounds stupid when you say it.

Jenny: Fine. I’ll just donate the parts that a zombie doesn’t need. Like your skin. Or brain tissue.

Victor: Zombies need brains.

Jenny: No, zombies eat brains. And then those victims become other zombies, even though their brains have been eaten by other zombies, so obviously you could donate your brain and still be a functional zombie.

Victor: yeah, and then I’ve got to spend eternity wandering the world as a mindless idiot.

Jenny: [snort]

Victor: shut up.

Jenny: I didn’t say anything.

Victor: If zombie-me finds out I’ve got parts missing you will be the very first person I eat.

Jenny the Bloggess keeps us laughing in Let’s Pretend This Never Happened:, while reminding us that life isn’t easy, but you make do. Unless your dad’s turkeys follow you to school a la Mary and her little lamb. Then you hide and pretend you don’t notice the turkeys pooping all over your school and your poo-covered dad trying to corral the turkeys while your whole school looks on.

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