Lies Lies on July 21, 2019
Pages: 242
Buy at AmazonGoodreads
two-stars

Betty Dawsey knows that breaking things off with Thom Lange is for the best. He’s nice, but boring, and their relationship has lost its spark. But steady and predictable Thom, suddenly doesn’t seem so steady and predictable when their condo explodes and she’s kidnapped by a couple of crazies claiming that Thom isn’t who he says he is. 

Thom is having a hellish week. Not only is he hunting a double agent, but his fiancé dumped him, and thanks to his undercover life, she’s been kidnapped. 

Turns out Thom is Operative Thom and he’s got more than a few secrets to share with Betty if he’s going to keep her alive. With both their lives on the line, their lackluster connection is suddenly replaced by an intense one. But in his line of work, feelings aren’t wanted or desired. Because feelings can be a lethal distraction.

Okay this book sounds like a mix between The Spy Who Dumped Me and True Lies, two movies that I love.

That blurb makes it sound fun and funny. And for the most part it is.

It’s a bit outlandish and over the top, but in a Rom Com, I’m okay with that. It’s written in first person present which is…rough. I’m not a fan. Especially in a Romance where it’s helpful to have the hero’s point of view. First person isn’t my favorite in a Romance, but first person present? That’s a…choice. But hey, the author’s voice was upbeat and fun, so I kept going.

So Betty is in the act of moving out while Thom, her fiance, is away again. He’s never home, and when he is he won’t talk, he’s kind of dull, and he’s avoiding any and all talks she’s tried to have with him. As she leaves the condo…it explodes!

The EMTs who patch her up don’t take her to the hospital, they take her to a safehouse and rough her up a bit. Turns out Thom is Secret Agent Thom. There’s never really an explanation as to why they took her when they were part of his team. But okay, I rolled with it. Again, expecting fun and hijinks.

This author’s tone is upbeat and fun so I was okay glossing over plot holes. Then Thom comes down where she’s being threatened and hit, and he’s different from her fiance. He’s got blue eyes instead of brown for one thing (why? he’d have married her and worn colored contacts for the rest of his life? REALLY?!), and his whole demeanor changed. His walk is different, his everything is different.

She’s told by another agent that she’s his cover. She’s his normal life so he can fly under the radar. Since he wasn’t investigating anyone or running an op where he needed cover, I believe him when he says he really did fall in love with her. When she says she was leaving him and he actually looks hurt, I believe it. Now one thing I liked is that she’s a heavier heroine and he loves her and she never tries to diet or change herself. She’s just a normal girl.

Thom really loved her…but this lie broke her heart. And it took him way too long to figure out that she wasn’t pissed, she was hurt. But once he started opening up, he did all kinds of little things that made me feel he really got it. He really understood how badly he hurt her. And he doesn’t want to break up. He wants them to get married. He spends the whole book telling her he loves her, and it’s kind of sweet. Especially since he feels that to have a normal and average life, they should have the basic and average relationship. So he gives her mediocre sex, No really. I thought it was so funny since she said that the bad sex was one of the reasons she wanted to leave him. But at the same time, would great sex have outed him as a secret agent? Hmm I don’t buy it. But again, this is a funny book so okay!

And then…

SPOILERS

REALLY

I AM SPOILING THE CRAP OUT OF THE ENDING

After a book full of them getting to know each other all over, and having some great sex 😉 the bad guys have infiltrated his agency. They’re after both of them now. So Betty and Thom are in danger at every turn, and then there’s the big climactic showdown, and yay they are truly in love and can get married…then Thom the Asshole fakes his own death. At their wedding.

I was like, okay he’s trying to maybe get out of the spy game right? This is his crappy way of getting enemies off his trail. Except he stays dead for four months FOUR MONTHS! He would have stayed “dead” except Betty isn’t stupid and finally figures it out. She stages something where he bursts out of the shadows to save her.

He was going to live his sad little life watching over her like a weird stalker for all time. I mean…how is this okay?! So she gets him to blow his cover and then she just lets him come right back into her life like he never faked his death for four months. I swear I wanted to throw my phone across the room. I mean, I had to go take a walk to get over my rage. This was probably a 4 star book for me before that stupid scene. No groveling. No comprehension that he’d broken her heart so badly with the first lie, and now he fakes his own death and I feel like he never learned a single thing.

How can we ever trust this HEA? How can I believe they’ll live Happily Ever After if I feel he might disappear or fake his death whenever life gets too dangerous for his wife? I don’t think that was solved.

So this went from fun and enjoyable (if you ignore the plotholes and bad spy scenes), to an almost DNF book. I’m so mad I don’t even know how to rate it. I want to give it a 1 star because of that stupidity, but I was really liking it up until then. Maybe 2 since I liked it before that. But a hero who learned nothing at all throughout a whole book? Nope. He’s a dick.

***I bought this book

two-stars